Since a lot of my friends are getting married or recently got married...I felt this post was sort of "timely". Granted I am not a master or pro at marriage (nor will anyone really ever be, no matter how old they are or how long they have been married), and really what do I know?...I've only been married to Husby for a little over 2 years and together almost 5 years the end of this year, but I feel there is some wisdom I can pass on that I have learned in my short life as a Mrs.
::::::Drum roll, please:::::
Wisdom 1: Never underestimate the power of love.
It does magical things and will get you through some of the most difficult times in your lives. No matter what.
Wisdom 2: Never go to bed mad or angry or upset at one another.
Not only does it lead to a night of terrible sleep, but it starts the next day off on a bad note and typically tension and silence; two things you should never wake up to when you are near your love.
Wisdom 3: Don't sweat the small stuff (and that includes the flaws in Mr. Wonderful, your spouse)
Who cares that he forgot to put his shoes away or leaves dishes in the sink (one of my biggest pet peeves about Husby)...will the world come crashing down? Ultimately not! Is it an inconvience to have to pick up his shoes or trip over them in the morning or have to add the dishes to the dishwasher in the morning? Yes, but you will survive.
Wisdom 4: Which follows W3, establish ground rules when living under 1 roof.
So you are a neat freak (like me at times) and cannot stand a pile of dirty dishes or cups lying around. Make it known that you cannot stand it and wish Mr. Wonderful would clean up after himself. In most cases, if you ask, men will try to meet your needs/demands. Be willing to do favors for him as well. Maybe he hates how you do something and wishes you would stop.
Wisdom 5: Be willing to compromise.
C-O-M-P-R-O-M-I-S-E. Say it with me. Each should give up one "bad habit" and make a conscience effort to follow through and really give it up.
Wisdom 6: Make time for one another.
Maybe you have fun by cuddling on the couch after a long day, or going for a walk, or cooking together. Whatever it is, make sure to always pencil that into your busy schedules. It does not need to be a grandiose event, just something simple as a time where you two can be close and the only thing in the world pressing at that moment is your relationship and you two.
Wisdom 7: Keep a date night.
Once again, it does not need to be a swoon-worthy event, but make one day or evening a specified date night for yourselves each week. It can include taking a walk on the beach or playing mini golf or seeing a movie or a quiet movie night at home. Some of our best date nights are the cheapest evenings we spend together. Typically, they are not every week, but we strive for every week. If you only fit in 1 a month, so be it. Life is busy, but make sure you do not let it wrap you up and miss our on growing your relationship and bond stronger.
Wisdom 8: Admit when you are wrong.
It's ok to be wrong, just remember to admit it. No one is perfect and if they say they are, then they are lying.
Wisdom 9: Explore one another.
Try to learn one new thing about your significant other each week. Make it a game or whatever, but find something new or unique about them each week.
AND LASTLY....
Wisdom 10: Find the humor in life.
One thing I have learned about my relationship with Husby is that we have many flaws, but together we are a very strong, united front. We have our rough days, but we get through them together and that is the most important thing about those days. In the 4+ years we have been together, we have grown together. We have learned to look past our individual flaws and work to better ourselves together. Nowadays, we make fun of ourselves (and one another) for our flaws. We are comfortable together, and this allows us to make fun of one another. I know I can pick on Husby for his snoring or his forgetfulness to put the dishes in the dishwasher, because at the end of the day he knows I am not mad at him for it, and it is likely I will do something he will make fun of me for (like going behind him and cleaning up and moving things on him-one of his biggest pet peeves about me). Be a united front together and the troubles in life will be less troublesome. If you allow a wedge to be built between you two, then your problems will only be bigger and more challenging.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
11.19.2008
101 Things in 1001
101 in 1001
Starting Date: Monday,December 1st, 2008
Ending Date: Monday, August 29th, 2011
Marriage
1. Cook dinner every weeknight for Michael.
2. Be more romantic with Michael.
3. Work on communicating my feelings more with Michael.
4. Plan 1 night a week for an entire month as a date night.
5. Kiss Michael every morning and every night for an entire month.
6. Compliment Michael every day for an entire month.
7. Do 101 special things for Michael.
8. Fight more fairly in a disagreement.
8. Fight more fairly in a disagreement.
Religion
9. Find a local church Michael and I can start going to.
10. Post 20 Bible verses that touch my heart.
11. Resolve my "lost faith" and forgive him for my childhood loss.
12. Write about 100 things I am grateful for.
13. Read The 5 People you Meet in Heaven.
13. Read The 5 People you Meet in Heaven.
Motherhood
14. Continue to follow doctor's regime in terms of the medicine for TTC.
15. Start a family.
16. Remove the clutter and refocus our lives around our family.
17. Don't raise my voice for an entire month.
18. Begin a holiday tradition.
19. Make a nursery in the house.
19. Make a nursery in the house.
20. Create a scrapbook for each.
Homemaking
21. Add curb appeal to the house.
22. Establish a weekly cleaning routine.
23. Follow that cleaning routine for an entire month.
23. Follow that cleaning routine for an entire month.
24. Paint the house with Michael.
25. Clean out and organize the freezer and fridge.
26. Organize my office.
27. Take the donation clothes to Goodwill.
28. Fill the remaining photo frames around the house.
29. Reorganize the kitchen to accommodate everything.
30. Fill my recipe box with the recipe cards (rewrite all the scraps onto cards)
Cooking
31. Cook dinner along with Michael at night.
32. Make breakfast for Michael.
33. Make banana bread from scratch.
34. Make Italian Antipasto Salad for Michael.
35. Cook Christmas Eve. and Christmas Day meals with Michael.
36. Make salsa from scratch.
37. Learn a new Italian dish.
38. Learn a new Chicken dish.
39. Learn to make a soup from scratch.
40. Learn a new Asian dish.
40. Learn a new Asian dish.
41. Learn a new breakfast dish.
42. Learn a new dessert.
Financial
43. Eat dinner out on twice a week for a month.
44. Eat lunch out only once a week for a month.
45. Save $20 at the grocery store (via coupons or value buys).
46. Establish a budget for our household.
47. Stick to my entire budget for two straight months.
48. Cut our grocery bill to $30 for a two week shopping period.
49. Pay extra on our school loans.
50. Build up our savings to $10,000.
51. Payoff all my store cards to have no balance for an entire 2 month cycle.
51. Payoff all my store cards to have no balance for an entire 2 month cycle.
Health
52. Take the dogs for a walk everyday for an entire week.
53. Exercise four days out of a week for 1 week.
54. Workout (run or swim) twice a week for a month.
53. Exercise four days out of a week for 1 week.
54. Workout (run or swim) twice a week for a month.
55. Give up soda for an entire month.
56. Eat a green salad five times in a week as a meal.
56. Eat a green salad five times in a week as a meal.
57. Eat 3 servings of fruit every day for an entire week.
58. Drink only fruit juice or water for one week.
59. Make target weight of 120lbs.
60. Don't eat after 9pm for an entire month.
Kindness
61. Volunteer for Habitat for Humanity.
62. Bring in a "treat" for my co-workers one week.
62. Bring in a "treat" for my co-workers one week.
63. Do a favor for the older lady down the street.
64. Host the chapter at my house for dinner 1 night.
65. Host a "family night" at my house for 1 night.
65. Host a "family night" at my house for 1 night.
66. Cook someone else dinner.
67. Offer Megan a vacation down to us and follow through.
67. Offer Megan a vacation down to us and follow through.
68. Make a birthday cake for someone at work.
69. Offer a ride to one of the younger girls at work.
70. Make each of the boys a toy.
71. Find Reese a new coat.
72. Find Snow a new coat.
73. Find Lucky a new coat.
74. Pamper each of the dogs.
Randomness
75. Read Tuesdays with Morrie.
76. Post a picture everyday for an entire month.
76. Post a picture everyday for an entire month.
77. Complete 2 old yearly albums on POGO.
78. Try a new berry.
79. Get a new hairstyle.
80. Read 50 books on my All-time list.
81. Catch up on the scrapbooking.
82. Make a wreath for each of the moms.
83. Visit Michael grandparents.
84. Recycle (even if the city does not want to bring their bins)
85. Visit Michael's aunt and uncle in Michigan.
86. Take better care of the Civic.
87. Try something new at a local eatery.
88. Do not splurge shop for an entire month.
89. Make a scrapbook for someone else.
90. Take Meghan for a girl's weekend.
91. Take a honeymoon with Michael.
92. Plan a bonding weekend with my female cousins.
93. Learn to surf.
94. Scuba dive in the Keys.
95. Go on a cruise with Michael.
96. Slim down my stomach and get my belly button re-pierced.
97. Start my education classes.
98. Bowl a 200.
99. Beat PCOS.
100. Blog about the items I cross off.
101. Write a new 101 in 1001 list.
10.28.2008
Just a 2 year recap...
Since I haven't really blogged continuously in the last couple years I figured one of my first blogs should be my "update". So let's see where to start? After a lot of soul searching and restless nights of thinking and trying to fit the pieces of my life together in 2005, I took a risk. I had been having issues finding myself and during the summer realized I wasn't happy with my life or where it was going or who I was becoming and so as I began the move back to college (my final year), I spaced myself from my then boyfriend (for many reasons which will go unmentioned) and started my college semester a bit upset, a bit excited for what the future would hold for me and ever busy with my classes and activities. As one door closed, another unexpectedly opened and I met someone new. We had met previously during freshman year due to some of our mutual friends but we were both in different places in our lives and had our baggage and so nothing progressed then. I guess Senior year was the time for things to progress since he became the man of my life. What started out as occasional bumping into each other at friend's events turned into nights of watching movies (sometimes cheesy, sometimes awesome), late night drives to Steak and Shake for milkshakes and cheese fries and eventually a relationship. I felt like the center of his world; a feeling I never felt before. With him, I could be myself and I knew if and when I poured my heart out to him he was there to listen and comfort me. My baggage was heavy that year and the real test of the strength of our relationship came around Christmas when we were apart and I felt like my glass world was about to shatter. My dad had been having medical problems and when I came home he was being released from a rehabilitation hospital after numerous skin grafts and surgeries. Even though I'd seen my dad in worse conditions it was tough to be festive and upbeat about Christmas. I knew time was short with my dad and it became even more evident when he went back to the hospital right before Christmas with complications. The phone calls back and forth over that holiday break between Greene and I were my life line to sanity. For Christmas, Greene sent me flowers and they were the most beautiful roses one could ever imagine; pretty pinks and white. As soon as I got them I quickly called him to thank him for the roses and he got quiet knowing he didn't order roses (my favorite flowers are carnations). Not caring that he had sent me roses, I thought the gesture was amazingly beautiful, and he on the otherhand was pissed at the florist and made them send me the correct arrangement (needless to say I will never get flowers via online/teleflora again), which they still got wrong but this time were closer to the ideal bouquet of wild flowers, gerber daisies and bright pinks and purples...cheerful and happy.
After Christmas I went back to school and Greene and I spent the few days before classes started together when he wasn't busy with RA training. What should have been an exciting point in my life; a fresh start and outlook on myself and life, my last undergrad semester, became the lowest point in my life that January. After many consultations with my dad's doctors my mom (and I; even though I was already back in FL) made the decision to move my dad into hospice and make the last moments of his life as comfortable as possible. The doctors weren't sure what was going on with him; if the brain cancer was back, if a new cancer had developed, etc. and so the first week of classes I planned my trip back to NY; not knowing how long I'd miss school for. My friends and most of my professors were very understanding of the situation; except for one professor. This professor (which many of my college friends know) told me I had to choose between finishing my college career (and not going home) or going home (and giving up my last semester and not graduating). I of course chose to go home and fought him tooth and nail to graduate on time (his class was really the only class I needed to graduate and so I made it a point to get the notes from my friends and do all the work. So here I was trying to decide where Greene's and my relationship would stand and he was already booking plane tickets for himself so he could go with me. He switched shifts with people for his RA job, called out his other job and told his teachers he would be out of school for a little while due to a family emergency. So that Saturday we were on our way to my home...his first trip to NY, his first meeting with my family and friends. It was that day I realized I'd met my soulmate. It was a tough few weeks and having him there made things all so much better. I'm sure it was a rough situation for him to be there while I went through that but he never showed it. Eventually, he went back to school and I stayed to be with my parents. It was within the next 2 days of Greene's departure that my dad quietly passed in his sleep. I believe my dad finally felt confident I'd found my other half and he could finally let go. The funeral and seeing all the extended family was rough alone, but every night I knew I could call someone and never be judged. I returned to school soon after the funeral and felt no desire to deal with my rude professor, but through the various meetings I was forced to have with him, Greene supported me, sat outside the office to make sure I got all my questions answered and he was never rude to me.
The semester continued, Greene's and my relationship continued to grow and become stronger. We worked together on Homecoming stuff, I met his family for the first time during Spring Break, and then we hit our next roadblock; what happens after Graduation? I hadn't really had time to look to grad schools and after the emotional stress I'd endured with the unnamed professor I had no desire to continue my education at the moment, so I decided I would follow Greene wherever he was going and take each day one at a time; another change in my life. In May we graduated, our families met for the first time and the pieces fell into place beautifully. We decided to stay around our college town; continue working our jobs and look for new career jobs. I went back to college after much pushing by Greene to get my second BS degree since I was only 1 class short. Greene landed his career job not too long into the summer and for once in my life I was able to breath and was comfortable with my life; an entirely new feeling for me. We made another trip to NY, where we helped my mom pack up the house and prepare to move to SC (it was her time for a fresh start). Since Greene had never been to NY before, we took a day out to show him NYC and played tourists for the day.
During the summer Greene and I talked about what we wanted to do in the future in our lives and we realized our lives were becoming more and more entwined and the discussion of marriage came up. Since we really hadn't been dating long (and yet gone through so much together already), I said I wanted to marry him someday if he asked but would want a long engagement. We casually shopped around for the perfect ring (yes ,I had an idea what my rings looked like before I got them) and our daily lives continued. In October, after a romantic dinner at The Melting Pot and a night stroll on the beach (and numerous other funny moments which I will not recap here), Greene proposed to me under a beautiful night sky and I said yes. We revelled in the feeling of being engaged awhile and around Thanksgiving (2006), we decided a March 2008 wedding would be in the cards next. At Christmas time of that year, Greene got the chance to take me to IA (not for a happy occasion though; his great-grandmom had passed away) and I met his entire family. From the moment I walked in, I felt welcomed and loved and knew I'd made the right decision to marry him. 2007 was busy with work, wedding planning and spending time together whenever Greene wasn't travelling. We bought our first house in May of '07 and quickly settled in. In November of '07 Greene injured his shoulder while surfing and in December he had the surgery right before the Christmas holiday. We had a family wedding in OK and spent New Year's in a Holiday Inn in OK. Thankfully we were surrounded with family, but it was a tough weekend.
On March 1st, 2008 Greene and I tied the knot surrounded my all of our closest family and friends. It was a beautiful wedding and joining of two familes. I tell everyone I married my best friend. After all the planning and designing that went into making our wedding ours, Greene and I celebrated with all of our friends and had a great time. I'm still trying to catch-up on the scrapbooking, but there are just so many pictures to incorporate. We attended a few more weddings for our friends and saw some other locations. We opted to take our Honeymoon another time since we had such a tight schedule with other prior engagements. The way I look at it is that we travel and see and do so many great things together and we've had many small honeymoons instead of just 1 big one. We got scuba certified in June and had a blast scuba diving in West Palm.
So that pretty much brings us up to current time. We have a zoo of animals still; 3 dogs (2 chihuahuas-Reese & Snowball, 1 Parson's Russell Terrier-Lucky which we adopted from the local pound in July), 6 turtles, 1 gerbil, and a saltwater tank and cichlid fish in our freshwater tank. Life is grand in our house. We have been tackling home improvement projects little by little and just enjoying our time together. Our future is still being shaped but I'm learning to take it one day at a time and loving the new adventures Greene and I are experiencing.
After Christmas I went back to school and Greene and I spent the few days before classes started together when he wasn't busy with RA training. What should have been an exciting point in my life; a fresh start and outlook on myself and life, my last undergrad semester, became the lowest point in my life that January. After many consultations with my dad's doctors my mom (and I; even though I was already back in FL) made the decision to move my dad into hospice and make the last moments of his life as comfortable as possible. The doctors weren't sure what was going on with him; if the brain cancer was back, if a new cancer had developed, etc. and so the first week of classes I planned my trip back to NY; not knowing how long I'd miss school for. My friends and most of my professors were very understanding of the situation; except for one professor. This professor (which many of my college friends know) told me I had to choose between finishing my college career (and not going home) or going home (and giving up my last semester and not graduating). I of course chose to go home and fought him tooth and nail to graduate on time (his class was really the only class I needed to graduate and so I made it a point to get the notes from my friends and do all the work. So here I was trying to decide where Greene's and my relationship would stand and he was already booking plane tickets for himself so he could go with me. He switched shifts with people for his RA job, called out his other job and told his teachers he would be out of school for a little while due to a family emergency. So that Saturday we were on our way to my home...his first trip to NY, his first meeting with my family and friends. It was that day I realized I'd met my soulmate. It was a tough few weeks and having him there made things all so much better. I'm sure it was a rough situation for him to be there while I went through that but he never showed it. Eventually, he went back to school and I stayed to be with my parents. It was within the next 2 days of Greene's departure that my dad quietly passed in his sleep. I believe my dad finally felt confident I'd found my other half and he could finally let go. The funeral and seeing all the extended family was rough alone, but every night I knew I could call someone and never be judged. I returned to school soon after the funeral and felt no desire to deal with my rude professor, but through the various meetings I was forced to have with him, Greene supported me, sat outside the office to make sure I got all my questions answered and he was never rude to me.
The semester continued, Greene's and my relationship continued to grow and become stronger. We worked together on Homecoming stuff, I met his family for the first time during Spring Break, and then we hit our next roadblock; what happens after Graduation? I hadn't really had time to look to grad schools and after the emotional stress I'd endured with the unnamed professor I had no desire to continue my education at the moment, so I decided I would follow Greene wherever he was going and take each day one at a time; another change in my life. In May we graduated, our families met for the first time and the pieces fell into place beautifully. We decided to stay around our college town; continue working our jobs and look for new career jobs. I went back to college after much pushing by Greene to get my second BS degree since I was only 1 class short. Greene landed his career job not too long into the summer and for once in my life I was able to breath and was comfortable with my life; an entirely new feeling for me. We made another trip to NY, where we helped my mom pack up the house and prepare to move to SC (it was her time for a fresh start). Since Greene had never been to NY before, we took a day out to show him NYC and played tourists for the day.
During the summer Greene and I talked about what we wanted to do in the future in our lives and we realized our lives were becoming more and more entwined and the discussion of marriage came up. Since we really hadn't been dating long (and yet gone through so much together already), I said I wanted to marry him someday if he asked but would want a long engagement. We casually shopped around for the perfect ring (yes ,I had an idea what my rings looked like before I got them) and our daily lives continued. In October, after a romantic dinner at The Melting Pot and a night stroll on the beach (and numerous other funny moments which I will not recap here), Greene proposed to me under a beautiful night sky and I said yes. We revelled in the feeling of being engaged awhile and around Thanksgiving (2006), we decided a March 2008 wedding would be in the cards next. At Christmas time of that year, Greene got the chance to take me to IA (not for a happy occasion though; his great-grandmom had passed away) and I met his entire family. From the moment I walked in, I felt welcomed and loved and knew I'd made the right decision to marry him. 2007 was busy with work, wedding planning and spending time together whenever Greene wasn't travelling. We bought our first house in May of '07 and quickly settled in. In November of '07 Greene injured his shoulder while surfing and in December he had the surgery right before the Christmas holiday. We had a family wedding in OK and spent New Year's in a Holiday Inn in OK. Thankfully we were surrounded with family, but it was a tough weekend.
On March 1st, 2008 Greene and I tied the knot surrounded my all of our closest family and friends. It was a beautiful wedding and joining of two familes. I tell everyone I married my best friend. After all the planning and designing that went into making our wedding ours, Greene and I celebrated with all of our friends and had a great time. I'm still trying to catch-up on the scrapbooking, but there are just so many pictures to incorporate. We attended a few more weddings for our friends and saw some other locations. We opted to take our Honeymoon another time since we had such a tight schedule with other prior engagements. The way I look at it is that we travel and see and do so many great things together and we've had many small honeymoons instead of just 1 big one. We got scuba certified in June and had a blast scuba diving in West Palm.
So that pretty much brings us up to current time. We have a zoo of animals still; 3 dogs (2 chihuahuas-Reese & Snowball, 1 Parson's Russell Terrier-Lucky which we adopted from the local pound in July), 6 turtles, 1 gerbil, and a saltwater tank and cichlid fish in our freshwater tank. Life is grand in our house. We have been tackling home improvement projects little by little and just enjoying our time together. Our future is still being shaped but I'm learning to take it one day at a time and loving the new adventures Greene and I are experiencing.
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